Lighting Our Own Path


Yes, we are in unsettling times.

It is in these times that we most need to understand that the Light we so desperately seek is always within us, even when we can’t seem to find it. More importantly, we will never find it by looking outside of ourselves, because it is not there. What we seek on the outside is always a reflection of what we are focused on within ourselves.

The key to getting to this “en-lightened” state lies in changing our internal belief patterns and how we view ourselves and everything else. When we believe we are ill, broken, not worthy, not lovable, we are creating that reality. We unknowingly disallow the Light that is inherent in each and every one of us. And because of that, we negate our true power and well-being.

It is most important not to push away the negative thoughts, feelings and experiences, not to run away from them, but to realize that within them, within what appears to be darkness, there is great Light. We find the Light within whatever difficult situation we are in; asking ourselves - where is the seed in this seemingly negative situation that can be brought to a greater revelation of Light? It is from this place, that we have a vast opportunity to learn and grow.

While life-challenging experiences may change us, deep inside there is always that shining seed of self, the blueprint of who we truly are, guaranteeing the possibility of renewal.

Experiencing dark times allows the space for something else, something of more value to take root within. Wisdom can then reign over bitterness. When everything else has been taken away, there is an opportunity to mend the pieces that are left or to stay in the darkness. Moving towards a place of wholeness and sense of empowerment that can ignite a personal transformation.

An open mind and an open heart is the illuminating key. Working towards generating gratitude and serenity, even while suffering, directs us in our highest place of goodness. Then it is inevitable that peace and contentment will find us.

Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at or 970-420-9504.